From September 2026, grief and bereavement education are explicitly included in England’s statutory Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) guidance.
Many schools will already talk about loss through PSHE, pastoral support or wider wellbeing work. What’s new is that pupils should now learn about grief and bereavement as part of the statutory curriculum.
For some children and young people, these conversations will be very close to home. Teaching about grief is important, but so is knowing how to support a child who’s living through it.
What has changed in the RSHE guidance?
The revised Department for Education guidance came into effect on 1 September 2026.
In primary Health Education, pupils should now learn that change and loss, including bereavement, can bring a range of feelings, that grief is a natural response to bereavement, and that everyone experiences it differently. Secondary schools are expected to build on that learning.
It's a small change in the guidance, but an important one. For many schools, the bigger question isn't what to teach about grief, but how to support children when loss becomes part of their own lives. Loss is part of life, and children need the language and understanding to make sense of difficult feelings when they arise.
Grief can look different for every child
There’s no single way to grieve. A child may be visibly upset, become quieter, find it harder to concentrate or need more reassurance than usual. They may want to talk about what’s happened, or they may not.
Some children may laugh with friends, enjoy lessons and seem completely themselves one moment, then find things much harder the next. School may be the place where difficult feelings come to the surface, or it may be the one place that still feels familiar and normal.
That’s why it’s important not to make assumptions about what grief should look like. A relational approach starts with the child in front of us and considers what might help them feel safer, more connected or better supported that day.
For one child, that might be a familiar routine. Another may need more time with a trusted adult. Someone else may need help making sense of a strong emotion, or simply the space to get on with their day without being asked to talk.
There’s no set response. What helps is knowing the child, noticing what they may need and being prepared to adapt.
This sits at the heart of the Thrive Approach. Thrive helps educators understand children and young people's social and emotional development, recognise how experiences can influence the way they feel, connect and engage, and respond in ways that support their current needs and strengths. Looking at grief through a developmental and relational lens can also help adults recognise that children may communicate what they’re experiencing in many different ways, including through their emotions, relationships, communication and behaviour.
That understanding can give adults more confidence in how they respond, particularly when a child’s going through something difficult.
How a relational, trauma-responsive approach can help
When life changes suddenly, reliable relationships can make a real difference. Support doesn’t always need to be a long conversation. It might be a quiet check-in at the start of the day, a familiar routine, an adult who stays calm when emotions feel overwhelming or simply knowing there’s someone available if they need them.
Adults can sometimes worry about saying the wrong thing, upsetting a child or making things harder when they seem to be coping. But we don’t always need to find the perfect words. Being able to acknowledge what’s happened, listen and hold space for whatever comes up can be enough. Even saying, “I don’t know what to say right now, but I’m here,” can feel more supportive than avoiding the subject altogether.
Not every bereaved child will be traumatised, and it’s important not to assume that they are. However, significant or sudden loss can affect a child’s sense of safety, emotional wellbeing and ability to cope with everyday demands.
A trauma-responsive approach helps adults recognise that experiences can shape how a child feels, responds and copes, without labelling, diagnosing or making assumptions. It encourages adults to stay curious, respond with care and think about what might help that child feel safer and more settled.
For a child experiencing grief, feeling known, noticed and supported can help school remain a place of safety and connection.
How can schools support children experiencing grief?
There’s a great deal schools can do through everyday practice.
Start with the child.
There’s no right way to grieve. What works for one child may not work for another, so pay attention to what they’re telling you, both in words and in how they’re coping day to day.
Keep things predictable.
When life outside school feels uncertain, familiar routines and consistent adults can be reassuring.
Make space for different feelings.
Children may feel sadness, anger, worry, confusion, relief or very little at all. Their feelings may change quickly, so it’s important not to put expectations on how they should be grieving.
Help children understand their emotions.
Having the words to describe how they feel can make difficult experiences easier to understand and communicate.
Keep connection open.
Let children know there are adults they can turn to, without making them feel they have to talk before they’re ready. Try to avoid telling a child you know how they feel or comparing their loss with one of your own. However well meant, it can take the focus away from their experience. Listening and allowing them to tell you what it’s like for them is often more helpful.
Don’t feel you have to fix it.
It’s natural to want to take difficult feelings away from a child, but grief isn’t something an adult can resolve for them. What we can do is stay alongside them, acknowledge their pain and help make it more bearable.
Work with families.
Good communication between home and school can help staff understand what a child knows, what they find helpful and whether there are particular moments they may find difficult.
Schools should also think carefully about how grief and bereavement are taught. There may be children in the room who’ve experienced a recent loss or who connect the topic with something difficult from their past.
That doesn’t mean the subject should be avoided, but it does mean handling it sensitively. Age-appropriate language, clear ground rules and avoiding putting children on the spot can all help. It’s also worth thinking in advance about what support is available if the lesson brings difficult feelings to the surface.
Know when more support is needed
Schools can offer a huge amount through strong relationships, consistency and a good understanding of the child. There’ll also be times when specialist bereavement or mental health support is needed.
Schools should follow their usual pastoral and safeguarding processes and draw on appropriate specialist services where needed. Organisations such as Child Bereavement UK and Winston’s Wish also provide dedicated support and guidance for children, young people, families and professionals.
A relational approach doesn’t replace specialist help. It helps make sure that, alongside any additional support, the child’s everyday experience of school remains safe, understanding and supportive.
The addition of grief and bereavement to the statutory guidance is a useful prompt for schools to think beyond the lesson itself. It’s an opportunity to look at the wider environment around the child: whether they have trusted adults, whether staff feel confident responding to emotional need and whether children experience calm, consistent relationships across the school.
We can’t protect children and young people from loss, but we can make sure they’re surrounded by adults who understand them, notice when they may need something different and know how to respond with care.
At Thrive, we help educators understand the whole child and build a shared relational approach that supports social and emotional development, responds to need and recognises the impact experiences can have on wellbeing and learning. That helps adults feel more confident in meeting children’s social and emotional needs, including when they’re going through difficult experiences such as grief and loss.
Want to learn more? Thrive Schools have access to specialist training, assessment tools, resources and practical guidance designed to help educators better understand and respond to grief.
Find out how becoming a Thrive School can help your setting build a whole-school approach to attendance, wellbeing and belonging.
